As shallow as this makes me sound I’ve always been quite proud of my hair. Its thick, dark brown and wavy (read wild) and although it sometimes turns frizzy I like the fact that it explodes off my head like a lions mane on days I forget to brush it.
That was until a couple of months ago. Since about April my hair has been falling out thick and fast. At first I thought it was just in my imagination but over the next few weeks, as clumps of hair began to fall out every time I touched my head, I began to realise that this definitely wasn’t only happening in my mind. Other people also started to comment on how much hair I was shedding, laughing at the stray hairs I was leaving in my wake every time I sat down.
My GP thinks that this hair loss could be put down to one of two things. Firstly it may be the result of my somewhat limited diet thanks to my OCD ideas about certain foods which have left me limited in terms of hair growing vitamins. Apparently hair growth responds to your diet 100 days (3 months) prior, explaining why despite significantly improving my diet since earlier this year this has yet to be seen in my hair.
The second option is a type of alopecia where hair falls out across your scalp but doesn’t necessarily appear obvious to others. Apparently this type of alopecia can be connected to stressful life events, suggesting that it may be connected to my recent OCD relapse or just more generally to my OCD thoughts.
While I am trying to improve my diet by eating more iron and protein I am yet to see any real difference to my hair and although my mum and sister both assure me that you can’t tell (probably due to my hairs natural thickness) its making me feel low every time I see its reduced size in the mirror. Part of me wonders whether I should get it cut shorter to see if this helps but I can’t bare the idea of a heavy handed hairdresser pulling out more strands than would fall out anyway.
I know things could be a lot worse, I could loose all my hair or develop large bald-spots and in the grand scheme of things, hair really isn’t that important compared to being loved and healthy and safe. But for so many years my big hair has been a part of me, acting as an armour against the outside world. I’ve always respected women with big hair, my grandma who has hers washed and cut once a week, my first idol Rizzo from Grease, Caitlin Moran, and now I’m excluded from the one club I could belong to (backcombing only makes the hair loss worse).
And so I am stuck in a kind of limbo, desperately hoping that one day soon my hair will be back to it’s old volume whilst also hoping against hope that I don’t loose any more.
Has anyone else had difficulties with hair loss. Do you have any advice? Did yours get worse or better over time?